, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Genitalia. Coitus. Osculation.

You’d be hard-pressed to open a romance novel without finding these three things – but odds are, you won’t find these words. (By the way, osculation is the scientific word for kissing. I didn’t know either.) Writers and readers of romance know there are endless euphemisms for the private bits, the sexy times, and everything leading up to them.

If you’re writing, you might find yourself struggling with talking about his or her… err… you-know-what. But fear not – I’ve got you covered. Some of these are cringe-inducing, and some blush-provoking, but I have not discriminated in collecting an assortment here. Even if you’re not writing, I’m sure you’ll find some of these amusing. (And if you’re looking for more words, try Part 2!)

For research, I turned to my bookshelf, grabbing a 2010 Kieran Kramer Regency romance, a 2004 Julia Quinn Regency, a 2004 Mercedes Lackey Fantasy (which happens to be my all-time favorite book and is literally falling apart), and a 1989 Laurie Grant that I haven’t actually read. Oh, and I also took a look at my own contemporary erotic romance novella.

(FAIR WARNING: We’re talking R-rated vocab here. Flee now if that scares you.)

Update: I’ve ordered them in terms of naughtiness now. Maybe that will help ease you in a little.

Lady Bits

  • the heart of her femininity
  • her center
  • her core
  • between her legs
  • junction of her thighs
  • groin
  • flower
  • her essence
  • her entrance
  • her sex
  • yoni
  • womb
  • mound
  • box
  • mons
  • sheath
  • crease
  • slit
  • crevice
  • pool of moisture
  • honeypot
  • folds
  • inner lips
  • nub
  • bud
  • orifice
  • mouth of her arousal
  • canal
  • pink pearl
  • vulva
  • labia
  • clitoris
  • vagina
  • clit
  • pussy
  • c*nt

Man Parts

  • groin
  • manhood
  • his sex
  • arousal
  • package
  • bulge
  • his length
  • erection
  • staff
  • member
  • rod
  • shaft
  • appendage
  • stalk
  • organ
  • lingam
  • balls
  • phallus
  • sack
  • testicles
  • penis
  • scrotum
  • dick
  • cock

Well, apparently we writers are a creative bunch. Did I miss any? Let me know in the comments if you have a particular favorite that I didn’t catch!

Looking for actions not body parts? Check out Part 2 of the Sexy Thesaurus!

Bonus: While researching this post, I read the grossest paragraph I have ever discovered on Wikipedia: “The similarity in the methods between kiss-feeding and deep human kisses (e.g. French kiss) are quite pronounced; in the former, the tongue is used to push food from the mouth of the mother to the child with the child receiving both the mother’s food and tongue in sucking movements, and the latter is the same but forgoes the premasticated food. In fact, through observations across various species and cultures, it can be confirmed that the act of kissing and premastication has most likely evolved from the similar relationship-based feeding behaviours.” Ew.